As Michael knows all too well, I am rather uncoordinated. This means that I am not great at ball sports and rather crap at doing my hair. But, over the years I have tried my best to get certain hair ‘looks’ and be, as they say in the fashion world, ‘on-trend’. I try, but these efforts are usually to my disappointment and the general amusement of my family and friends. I have been known to fall victim to some inadvisable hair trends. Thus, herewith, my three most notable misadventures in hair styling (all pre-Michael Johnson Hair, natch):
Worms (circa 2000)
When I was 12, worms were all the rage. You’d pop your hair into a ponytail and then twist sections of the ponytail into worm like mini buns and secure with a butterfly clip. The sparklier/glitterier/brighter the butterfly clip the better. In fact, butterfly clips were so huge, they became something of a pseudo currency in popularity and general chicness at school. Oh, ye misguided youth!
Michael is well versed in my obsession with headwear. I have an overflowing hat stand and an indecent number of fascinators and large fake flowers (Carrie Bradshaw has a lot to answer for). Of course, I also have quite the collection of headbands. Before I got a fringe, my default hair look tended to be long, dark straight tresses pushed back harshly from my forehead with some sort of giant, patent, lacy or applique headband. The bigger and more ornamented the better, as far as I was concerned. While I’ve mostly stopped wearing headbands, nowadays my default can’t-be-bothered-to-wash-or-blowdry-my-hair is still a sneaky headscarf – and it’s an ongoing point of contention between the divine Mr Johnson and myself. I have a theory that he keeps lopping my locks ever shorter in the hope that I won’t be able to achieve my standard bad hair day topknot and turban look. It’s tough love and I appreciate it.
Betty Page fringe
Whilst I was at uni I rocked a long hair with blunt fringe combo which I really liked. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery and so, if that’s anything to go by I guess my hair looked pretty rocking. Shortly after I got my bangs snipped in, a male friend of mine with Fabio-esque hair wandered into his barber and ordered the exact same look – dyed his sandy blonde dark brown and got the exact same fringe cut in. Prior to this I had often had academic staff confuse my best girlfriend for me (we had the same length hair and very similar wardrobes) but getting mistaken for William was another matter entirely!
Anyhow, I loved my fringe but my hair stylist at the time was in Sydney and I was at uni in Wollongong. One evening I was having pre-drinks at my place with some uni friends before we headed off to a 21st. As I was getting ready I decided that my fringe was too long to wear out (I looked a bit like a sheep dog) and, given I couldn’t be bothered to haul-ass to Sydney to get my bangs chopped, I had to do them myself. Problem was, I’d started drinking. And my bathroom wasn’t that well-lit. So it’s no surprise that, after hacking at my fringe with some nail scissors by candlelight under the influence of much too much cheap champagne, I cut off waaaay more than necessary. ….
(Ed note: we are thinking this might be sort of what she is getting at )
At that stage I decided to go for broke, because the only way to tidy my very uneven handy work was to opt for a decidedly extreme Betty Page or Reality Bites fringe (and not in the good way). This, not surprisingly, did not end well and the resulting look had to be kept safely under wraps beneath one of my many headbands for the night (and the next few weeks until it was long enough to get a professional to fix it).
Nowadays I have a fucking fabulous professional on call to tame my mane and rein in my impulses toward fashion misadventures. The ongoing headscarf-turban debate notwithstanding, thank fuck for Michael.
(Awww thanks Mim….)
See our red bob fringe tranformation on Mim’s long black locks using EVO Fabuloso Purple Red in just 3 minutes.